its about all the sad stuff

just picture a depressed onion cutting itself

I met a homeless man named Rich

isnt that terrible?

I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didnt have any legs

I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating

I saw a giraffe who had a short neck That was sad or a ... dear

I saw an old man get hit by a train

He didnt see it in the pouring rain

He didnt hear me shout, "Look out for the train!"

'Cuz I didnt say anything

I just thought to myself, "Oh this is gonna be sad"

And it was Im a genius

I saw a man with only one eye in a 3d movie

I saw a little boy drop his ice cream con directly on his mother's corpse

I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped off and he hung itself

I saw a boy who had red hair

I went to a store looking for something to buy but they only sold paintings of the same sad guy

No wait, this store sells mirrors See what I did there?

Lets rock! No

the worlds so sad, bros

pain, genocide, war, sexism and racism

But I gotta remember theres good things about it too

Like the fact that none of thats happening to me, Score!

Still though its hard not to be sad about it How do y'all do it?

I've been telling you, guys, terribly sad things this whole song You havent been sad at all you've been...

you've been happy, no you've been laughing Thats it, laughter, its the key to everything

Its the way to solve all the sadness in the world

I mean, not for the people that are actually sad, but for the people like us they've gotta fucking deal with them all the time

Being a comedian isnt being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public its being a hero

the world isnt sad. the worlds funny! Im a sociopath!

I saw a old man slip and fall. hey, what a fucking idiot

I saw a woman at her daughters funeral. ha ha ha! Classic comedy!

Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now

The holocaust and 9/11 That shits funny 24/7

Cuz tragedy will be exclusively joked about

Because my empathy is bumming me out

Goodbye, sadness! Hello jokes