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College Essay Guide part 2: Anatomy

태국산 호어갤로그로 이동합니다. 2009.10.21 14:38:47
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Read part 1 first: https://gall.dcinside.com/list.php?id=foreign_university&no=65815&page=1&bbs=

Consider the sample below.

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Standing in my front yard one day this summer, I watched a car creep up and down the road past my house four times before it finally turned into my driveway.  Roads in my New England town are thin and winding, and all the trees look the same, so my parents and I are used to giving directions to travelers who have taken wrong turns.  However, this driver was not lost or looking for help, but rather returning at a slow speed deliberately, to a territory whose every bump and twist he knew perfectly.  When the man stepped out of his car, he introduced himself to me as the boy who had grown up in the house that I live now.  And although I did not recognize the stranger standing in front of me, I felt I already knew the boy of whom he spoke.
    For seventeen years I have collected old glass marbles and matchbox cars as they have surfaced from an abandoned sandpile in my backyard. I connected quickly that the man in my driveway was the child responsible for their burial, and I told him of my collection.  He laughed as he remembered his pile of toys in the sand, and when I asked him why he had left them there when he moved, he answered, “I used to play with them every day, and when I was finished playing at the end of each afternoon I would just leave everything there until the next morning.”
    His explanation sounded simple.  When he was young, he would play with his toys when he wanted to, go inside when he wanted to, and return to his sandpile the next day.   However, the fact that the marbles and matchbox cars are still buried today suggests that there was one morning when the boy woke up and decided not to play.  There was one exact moment in time when something changed, when he did not return to his sandpile, and he has not been there since.  
    The idea that there are singular, unpredictable moments in time that divide one stage of life from another has greatly affected my life.  I am conscious that something that I am active in today may become part of a past stage without my realizing it, and so I commit myself to each project with the belief that I will never do that particular activity in just the same way again.
    For example, if I want to publish a short story today, I am not going to worry that I would have a better vocabulary to write it with in ten years.  And when I volunteer to teach illiterate adults, I do not question whether I would be more effective after a few more years of my own education.  For today I can pursue both of these activities with the capabilities of a seventeen-year-old, and although the story I write and the class I assist may not be as successful as they would be if I tried them again in ten years, they will invariably be a reflection of my best effort at this point in my life.  For as long as I believe that my life comes in stages whose beginnings and endings are invisible, this moment is always the right time to write and to work and I am never to young to try anything.

---

Story is almost boring. Nothing really stands out. And yet I think it\'s one of the best essays I\'ve read (and others agree--this is out of those "50 essays that worked for Harvard" books).

The strength of this essay (and ANY OTHER ESSAY) is in its theme, not the story.

What does your essay say about you? This essay isn\'t saying that standing in his front yard is anything important. It\'s about how he\'s ready to take on the world at this moment, and how he\'s eager to do so, eager to fail. Obviously the two qualities one might highlight is INITIATIVE and MATURITY.

The above essay is a good sample because it\'s structured in a very simple way.
Paragraphs 1-3 is an anecdote
Paragraph 4 is identification of the THEME
Paragraph 5 is the APPLICATION OF THE THEME

Paras 4+5 are what makes or breaks an essay. (Not to say para 1 isn\'t important--as with any piece of writing, first impression is very important--but you learn this in SAT writing anyways... but again, don\'t be too cliche/corny). That\'s the PURPOSE of an essay.

Para 4: So what did you learn from this? What\'s important about you? You write ONE college essay in your life, for that ONE chance. Why did you choose this to write about?
Para 5: And what does that tell us about you? What makes you better than your peers because of it? What about this quality will drive you to succeed over another kid of similar traits? How do you act now that you\'ve realized what\'s in paragrapah 4?

This essay is a bit different as it\'s a fictitious account, probably, and doesn\'t involve a dilemma/conflict, a choice u had to make or a difficulty you had to overcome (a favorite topic for many schools). These are the easiest to write, if you can come  up with an anecdote. The choice you make is reflective of you, and it\'s easy to draw out the THEME and the APPLICATION. Of course, it doesn\'t always have to be.

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